Welcome to Andieland ---- The mind is like a parachute, for it to work it must first be open.

  They lived in this tiny trailer for two months before the baby was born, most of it was a blur for her. When the baby finally arrived is was one of the scariest days of her life. Her water broke at 8am and she had an emergency c-section at around 5 that evening. Her baby was so small and quite. She thought her entire world had changed, little did she know it actually had.

   She spent four days in the hospital, everyone she could ever imagine was there to see the baby, not her the baby. That's the way her family is. Unfortunately, the one person she wanted to stay, she just couldn't get though to, he was way to busy celebrating to have any concern for her or how she was feeling. So at night, for four nights she was alone with a brand new baby. At one point in time she had gotten so upset over the whole ordeal that one of the attending nurses asked her if she would like her to go stop him from leaving again and make him stay. She simply replied "no" with tears flowing down her face. See he had been way to busy next door "celebrating" and the reality of it all was not there for him to see.

   When the young girl and the baby finally came home, she just wanted to rest but there was a great deal of house work and baby stuff to take care of. Relatives and friends, both hers and his, would not leave her in peace and no one could understand just to let her alone for a while. She was oblivious to odd things going on behind her back while she tried to breastfeed and her mental state was fragile for a while. It took a month before the nurses believed her when she told them the breastfeeding wasn't working. The baby wasn't getting any food, they said she was doing everything right but the baby was loosing weight and she was very soar and black and blue. She took it upon her self to start to bottle feed but then the baby started to throw up all the time. She was so scared and no one helped her. Her baby never cried. Not when she was hurt or hungry or tired, never. So this young girl started taking drugs to stay up all night so she could watch the baby while she slept in case she threw up or choked. She didn't know what else to do. The doctors and nurses just told her she had "new mom paranoia" and would send her home.

     The baby's father, didn't seem to notice any of this except the drug part of which he didn't mind because then the young lady could be hypocrytical of him. It did seem though that at he was still always working and still never had any money. She thought maybe he spent it on the drugs but really those were free. She still didn't know. Still even after the baby was born no one told her.

    One day, in particular, she was at the neighbor's. Now the woman that had all the drugs, had four kids of her own and helped this girl with what ever she could and was very kind to her. The woman noticed how strung out the young girl and gave her a few tips. She even managed to convince the girl to give the baby cereal in the bottle so it would stay down ( her baby ate and slept for 7 full hours that night). She hadn't had that kind od peace in months. While there that night a couple of guys came over and one of them struck a conversation with the young girl. She noticed how odd it was that this guy always made eye contact with her and had a fixation on her the whole time they were speaking. Not many people showed her that kind of respect. He was a good looking guy, even though she tried not to think much about it. They had a lengthy conversation due to the fact that his partner was buying at the time. He was nice guy and she thought it was wonderful that someone took the time to talk to HER not "that guy's ole lady" or "the baby's mama" or "so &so's friend" he spoke with her, he asked her name. Then it happened. It was around midnight. The young man and the neighbor's husband were working on a side job, they came home. The young man saw her talking to this guy and started to scream and holler and raise hell at her. She scooped up the baby and ran home. He followed about thirty minutes behind her. She assumed he was calming down but he was more than likely getting drugged up some more. When he got home he started to yell again but this time things started to break, the glass in the coffee table, knick-knacks, the baby swing. Her uncle ( the land-lord) actually came down to stop him, she was locked in the bedroom crying, but not the baby she still never cried.

   The next morning he apologized. Telling her he was just so tired and jealous. It would never happen again, EVER. The good new was that the side job he was working on was going to pay a good amount of money and not to worry about the workman's comp claim at his other job. It would all be all right.  

 

 

    There are no such thing as magic words