I've been torn by what ifs and why nots. What will happen verus what has happened. I don't want to be negative, but it's hard when your scared. It's easier to come up with reasons not to do something. I'm not usually so reluctant to move forward. If  I don't I'm stuck. So many things to consider, I think I'm being selfish. My kids always come first and my 'hubby' (we're not married but) next but what about me. I like the way things are now but I also know it can't stay this way forever. I work nights, we rent a home, my kids are young and my hubby works 50 hours a week. It's not an ideal life but it works for now. Only thing is, now isn't tomorrow and tomorrow tends to sneak up on you. I'm sure everything will be okay, but that does't change my feelings about anything. Maybe I'll feel differntly -- tomorrow.